CHAPTER SIXTEEN: CHOKING ON LIES

You know what God?

Honestly… I’d be lying if I told you that I really care about the young punks who hide their dysfunctional insecurities behind arrogance and attitude. I guess if I cared I would love them instead of intentionally abandon them, right?

I’d be lying if I told you that I don’t hate.
Actually, I wonder if I hate more than I love.
I’d be lying if I told you that I trust you, with my life, or even with the lives of the abandoned.
I’d be lying if I told you that I love what you love.
I’m not even sure if I love you, to be honest.

I feel like I’m starving for truth and choking on lies.
Lies in my head: Lies about you; lies about me; lies about the messy world I apathetically avoid.
I feel lost, trapped, confused, and like I’m spinning my wheels in the ruts of my own insecure bullshit.

Your inconvenient love is slowly revealing my hatred.
It’s strangling my bigotry, tying knots in my intolerance.
I think I really do want to trust my unknown future to a God I know, but… do I know you?
Can I know you?

Maybe this is the first step to finally living in the pure truth of grace.
But for now, I’ll just continue living in my shadowy corner until your light reveals my beautiful ugly.

Drew Marshall is the host of the Drew Marshall Show, “Canada’s Most Listened to Spiritual Talkback Program.” With years of pastoring, counseling, public speaking and writing to his credit, Drew’s provocative yet genuine style is sometimes disturbing, but always interesting. During his radio show, Drew interviews some of the best in entertainment about their spiritual lives, he interviews average everyday people about ‘messy spirituality,’ and opens up the phone lines to talk about the issues that the church and other Christian media don’t, won’t or can’t. He’s been a guest panelist at the Canadian Association of Broadcasters’ annual convention, discussing “The Societal Impact of Talk Radio” and a guest faculty at Write Canada’s annual conference, helping authors to survive the worse interviews they can imagine! Recently, Drew became the “God Guy” for Q107, a classic rock station in Calgary.

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN: AND STILL ANOTHER: THE DEALMAKER

You are our peace.

Thank you Lord that our peace does not depend on our perfection, success, wealth, status or any personal circumstance,

but in your mercy, love and grace.

Forgive us Lord, for we go through life longing for peace and begging you for it, but then thoughtlessly fill our lives with things that hinder, disrupt, displace or steal the very peace we seek.

When we are inclined to focus on our success, remind us that success very often draws us away from your gentle presence.

When we are inclined to focus on our own troubles, and plead that you take them away, remind us that trouble and tribulations refine us and draw us closer to you.

Help us to receive every moment as a gift from you.

And, if needed Lord, send tribulation and disturb us if we live in deception or complacency or anything else that is separating us from your peace.

Grant that we will not be taken in by either the false peace the world offers, or troubled by the turmoil or trials it sends to take our peace away.

Remind us always that the world cannot give peace and the world cannot take it away when it comes from you.

Help us to be mindful to give your peace to others: in words or deeds.

Send us a quiet whisper and draw our attention to someone who needs to find you through us.

We thank you Lord that we can depend on you to not forsake us in either our best or worst circumstances.

Just as you give us faith, hope and love – grant us your peace that surpasses all understanding, that you alone can grant – through the Prince of Peace, your Son.

Amen.

Larry Willard is founder, president and executive publisher for Castle Quay Books Canada and Bay Ridge Books Canada, and is the current Vice President of Corporate Communications and Alumni Relations with Tyndale University College & Seminary in Toronto. Both publishing imprints are dedicated to Canadian Christian publishing and the development of Canadian Christian authors.

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN: EXQUISITE

Abba, we marvel at your infinite love expressed in your solidarity with us. We are humbled and grateful that you enter into our human poverty through your Son Jesus Christ. Becoming one with us in every capacity, you know the pain of the commonplace, the marginalized, the unheroic everyday experience of the average person – all without self-pity or self-centeredness.

We are amazed that you did not pass us by in our brokenness, frailty and anger. Instead, you stopped and called us to your side, even as you invited brother Bartimaeus, to find our rest as beloved children of your Father. You called us by name. Further, you invite us to continually receive, develop and explore our true, authentic selves; you press us to leave behind our false ego-driven selves.

We desire to experience each day as a gift and to be able to live each moment in gratitude, accepting all from your hand as an invitation to know and love you more. Help us, Abba, to respond in compassion to others even as your Son is our constant companion who never passes us by. Enable us to heed the example of the Good Samaritan who gave up his own agenda, convenience and money to come to the assistance of the unknown, broken stranger. Give us eyes to see you in the wounded.

Grant to us, Gracious Creator, trusting hearts that we might surrender ourselves to you completely. Empower us, sweet Jesus, to rise above the human overcast, to not fixate on the exigencies of life but rather to know your consolation, peace and presence that prevail even when the clouds seem interminable. Help us to move forward with confidence and enthusiasm, holding the banner of your love over this day, this experience, this friendship, this travail. Enable us to live in connection with your sacred breath and to experience your exquisite touch.

Amen.

Alan Davey has been the senior pastor of Weston Park Baptist Church for the past 17 years. This is a Toronto inner city church which focuses on the needs of the marginalized as well as celebrating ministries related to worship and the arts. Further, he is an adjunct professor at Tyndale University College teaching in the areas of Christian worship and spiritual formation.

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN: THAT ONE ACORN

O Lord, I’m afraid – not because you are too big, but because I am too small.
Even when I try my best, it’s not very good.
You invite me to put my arms around the world, but I can hardly embrace one person.
What I see and what I do are two different things.
O Lord, I am conflicted and confused.

I know you are there, but will you save me?
I’m yours in my heart, but my brain raises doubts.
Protect me from the evil one who seeks to destroy and press me down.
I’m hanging on to your words that nothing can separate me from your grace and love.

Forgive me, Jesus, and wash me with your confidence.
I’m like a broken-down jalopy running on two cylinders.
Overhaul me to start this day.
Show me where you already are so that I can catch up.
Already your presence in this bumbling prayer is preparing me for the next move.
Stay close so that what I do connects with who you are.

Amen.

Dave Toycen is President and Chief Executive Officer of World Vision Canada.

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CHAPTER TWELVE: GUN

Dear Father,

Forgive me – I am capable of such,
I may not have a gun, but I have other weapons of unacceptable mass destruction
powered by my ego, my flesh, my indulgence, my fears, and my greed.

I can destroy life and spirit in a moment and go free and above the law
but not your Law.

Forgive me – for using my money as a weapon
for security to shield myself from the cold and the broken
to buy the stuff
to shield myself, but destroy your world.

Forgive me – for using my tongue as a sword
that destroys the spirit, harms the awkward, lambastes the rude and curses the squeegee kid.

Forgive me – for using my eyes as daggers
rolling, stirring, turning away
from those who need help, friendship and encouragement
for lusting after what is not mine.

Forgive me – for using my hands
to deny compassion
for grabbing more than I should or need
for turning my kids away from seeing life on the streets
and as a tool for road rage.

Forgive me for my feet
which destroy my credibility
when I don’t walk the talk
or turn around fast from those in need
to avoid the darkness
and run toward heaven – from any reminder of hell here.

Forgive me for my mind
filled with the weapon of self.
Filling it with consumerism and fantasies of escape -
escape from the pain of the world gone bad.
For using mind games to enforce, coerce and manipulate.

Forgive my trigger finger
which so quickly turns the channel to avoid another story of ‘intervention’, World Vision, or another Hollywood star in Darfur.

Forgive me for having more faith in ‘weapons of mass destruction’ than in you -
forgive me for I would have probably used the nail and hammer
the thorns and spear
to push you away from me – and still do when I refuse even water to the ‘least of these.’

Forgive me for using the Bible as a weapon to defend my rights
For finding verses of wealth and prosperity
and for never allowing it to be turned on my own heart.

Forgive me for being a weapon of mass destruction -
to you, to your name, to your glory and light in this world.

Forgive me for not using the weapons of the Spirit
to pray for those who seek, find and offer ‘Bent Hope’
while I hide inside my AlarmForce castle.

Thank you – for your weapons of mass destruction -
Love, and Grace – and for the Cross
through which you have destroyed my old life, and now I am new
and through which you and I together can dismantle an atomic bomb… so let it be.

Amen.

John McAuley is the President/CEO of Muskoka Woods - a Christian youth camp located on Lake Rosseau, Ontario. John hails from Belfast, N. Ireland, where he was a police officer. John saw many things throughout his 25 years there, and lost many friends to the tragic violence of N. Ireland’s bloody history. Deeply moved in his teens by the then only locally known rock band U2, John felt the call to a different kind of leadership, inspired by Bono. Bono’s life and music provoked an “it doesn’t have to be this way” response within John to the bloodshed and violence around him. To this day, that view inspires everything John is and does. He lives in Toronto, and is married to Lori and they have two wonderful kids, Kasi and Jake.

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CHAPTER ELEVEN: GUMBALLS IN RUSSIA

Father, whose imagination danced our world into being, thank you for the gifts you share with us. Thank you for your rich generosity toward us. Thank you for giving us your very best.

…yet my hands hold tightly
     clenched and white-knuckled
     taking and guarding
     gathering for personal gain
     using for higher position
     easily discarding
     with my first thought often being me
     and my last inclination dividing
     feeling some strange entitlement to everything I’ve been given.

     keeping faith
     storing resources
     guarding time
     protecting love

Yet you are the Maker of us and if anyone deserves to hold on to what you have formed, it is You. But you don’t. Your very nature is filled with gift.

     the finest wine
     the richest bread
     the most extravagant love

Your character is far from our unchecked consumption and your
glory distant from our obsession with what isn’t ours.
And so we ask your forgiveness for You
“live in a high and holy place but also with the contrite and lowly in spirit.”

You see miracle in the simple
You find the spectacular in scarcity
You see wonder in a child’s creativity
“From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise”
In your economy, the least are the greatest.

And so we ask for You to shape our imaginations
Give us humility to receive and to see Jesus in those around us
To stop, to see, to accept
To be generous givers and wide-eyed receivers
To accept life as a gift and not entitlement
And to become like children once again

Amen.

Mike Janzen is a highly gifted musician. Since graduating in 1997 with a Masters of Composition degree from the University of Toronto, he has been involved in a diverse collection of projects as a free-lance composer. Recent works include composing and arranging for the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra, composing the original score for the Prodigal Trilogy (Jason Hildebrand) and writing the music for a full length film soon to be released (string orchestra recorded at the Glenn Gould Studio). Mike has written numerous chamber pieces, two full-length musicals and continues to write and arrange for studio sessions in Toronto. He is a jazz piano player with the Mike Janzen Trio and has performed across Canada with Steve Bell, the Penny Merchants, Jacob Moon, and others. He is currently living in Toronto where he is also the Evening Music Director at Little Trinity Anglican Church.

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CHAPTER TEN: THE LAST TIME I SAW RICARDO

Creator God,
Please push my stubborn life beyond ‘outward appearance,’
and accelerate my acceptance of the hidden beauty of my vulnerable existence.
Below all my life-pain, anger, and immense fear of further wounding, let me claim my true identity as a unique and cherished member of the human family.

And Maker of the Universe,
Please stretch my withered heart to embrace each precious, marginalized sister and brother -
at home, at work, in my city, country, and on this planet. Strip away all that blocks us, me
and my suffering and unlikely teachers, from the mutual transformation of our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.

Furthermore, Merciful Presence,
Please take the violence from my response to the mystery of human suffering – my own pain as
well as the anguish of all those who suffer  undeserved losses: of loved ones, health, relationships, innocence, self-control, self-respect, jobs, homes, dreams, and the ability to control addictions, angers and fears. Teach us to stand together in our grief, and love ‘live it’ in solidarity with so many brothers and sisters who strive, beyond their wounds to resist blame, and to trust in the power of love above all.

Finally, Divine Lover,
With all our marvelous and uncomfortable differences – inhibiting and enhancing our human journey – please awaken our languid spirits with courage – to gently but firmly hold hands, and yearn, and cry, and laugh together. Yes, Spirit of Love, grant us gratitude for the mystery and the power at work, in this, our unbelievable human family.

Amen

Sue Mosteller is a Sister of St. Joseph, a teacher, and a long-time member of L’Arche Daybreak where she has lived and worked with people with disabilities. Sue has written three books, and, as well as giving seminars and retreats, she works with the literary legacy of the spiritual writer, Henri Nouwen.

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CHAPTER NINE: DYNAMITE

God of catalytic power,
who lights our hearts and minds from within,
whose penetrating presence burns away
our inner residue of safe decisions,
creating inner beauty.

Defuse our petty explosions
when we light the fuse of misplaced emotions deep within ourselves,
denying the warmth of your love.

Infuse us with your power – the explosive power of love, and
resurrection, and renewal
that burns away the past, creating hope eternal.

You chose to wash the feet of friends as a loving act of service,
with those same hands that lit the creative fire of the universe.

May our feet too be washed with Your everlasting love,
expressed through costly sacrifice.

Explode in us your acts of love, expressed through our own wounded hands and feet.

Help me understand that the dynamite fire of your love is never accidental,
producing beauty seen only in eternity.

And may I remember that You wait, with visage marred expectancy,
to call me Beautiful.

Because that is who I am.

Amen

Miller Alloway grew up in a family that loved to discover ways to share God’s passionate love for His creation. In 1973 Maranatha Foundation was created as a way to invest deeply in the lives of those involved in serving others, and through them share God’s love and compassion with a world desperate to know Him. Through Canadian and global ministry partnerships in education, medicine, relief and inner city missions, the Foundation’s Trustees seek to bring hope to those for whom life has become a daily challenge. Miller serves full time with the Foundation in seeking opportunities to act justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with God in helping others along life’s journey.

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CHAPTER EIGHT: EITHER WAY

O Lord of the singer and the song, help me to find my voice and use it to sing the songs you have birthed in the quietness of my soul.

In my travels on this earth, may the voices of those around me serve as a reminder that you have given each of us a voice, and each a song to sing. Make my spirit attentive to the songs and gifts of those around me, regardless of how unassuming the singer, or how humble the vessel of your heavenly muse. Since there is every reason to expect that this life is the beginning of the abundant life, the eternal life — the assembling of the heavenly choir — may I see in each face around me that glow of eternity. In studying their features, may I be made more sensible to the likeness of Christ shining in and through them.

And when I hear their song, grant that I would perceive in that dance of words, melody, harmony and rhythm the very seed of your creativity; the fingerprint from your hands: the hands of a veteran musician.

Jacob Moon is a Hamilton-based singer-songwriter. He tours widely all across Canada and into the United States, and has played hundreds of venues in his quest to reach new audiences with his songs and stagecraft. Jacob’s CDs have been played on radio stations across the country, and are distributed through Steve Bell’s Signpost label. Social justice is something very close to Jacob’s heart, and for many years he has been active in doing fundraiser concerts for many worthy organizations, including: Compassion Canada, International Justice Mission, Mennonite Central Committee, Canadian Foodgrains Bank, and many Christian schools across Canada.

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CHAPTER SEVEN: WOLF SPOKE

Heavenly Father,
My pride is entrenched and my ego is fragile.
Please move upon me and within me
to conform my character to the heart of Christ,
who had it all,
but gave it up
to be misunderstood
and misjudged,
all the while
serving, loving and forgiving

Bruxy Cavey is the Teaching Pastor of The Meeting House, a multiple-site church in the Greater Toronto Area. He is a highly sought after communicator on University campuses, in high schools, at church leadership conferences and in churches throughout North America. He has taught at the college level on the interaction between faith and the arts, and has been a guest on various television and radio programs. Bruxy’s first book entitled “The End of Religion” was released by NavPress in the fall of 2007.

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